I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
