I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
whose parrot is this?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
