You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
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Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
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woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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