I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pants are for mortals
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
