Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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