i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
