i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
