I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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