If that was your dad, he is hot
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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