Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There's always time for handjobs
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
