Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
