Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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