if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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