Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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