Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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