Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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