whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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