Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
