I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
