mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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