The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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