I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
