i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
