Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize