Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
