READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
is wine microwaveable?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
