does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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