I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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