He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
