You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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