Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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