I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
