I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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