I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
