Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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