You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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