I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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