i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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