I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
