I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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