At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
