he wants to bone in the snuggie
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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