Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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