Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
