There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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