Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Houston, we have a squirter
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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