no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
