i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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