Fuck appropriateness.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
