marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
