hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
