I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
