go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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