glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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