so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
