wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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