So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
