i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
